Hello everyone! It's been quite crazy the past few months. I'm not quite sure where to start!
We finally completed our birth mom letter. Geez was that a relief. It's not easy at all to talk about yourself in a way that will make someone trust you enough with their child. I feel that the end result was perfect & hopefully it will be the last piece to our puzzle!!!!
I turned our application in to our lawyer here in town that does adoption. So now we just wait and wait and wait!
As for work....the IVF cycle is up and running in full force. Things have been going quite smoothly! I will say I'm very ready to NOT wake up to an alarm. But....that will just have to wait a week or so.
Then there's my dad.....It's been such a hard week! He was put in the hospital since last Tuesday for seizure like symptoms, loss of speech, difficulty moving both arms/legs and severe migraines. He was then transferred to KU Medical Center and placed in the Neuro ICU for close monitoring. All the tests in hutch came back negative, which is so frustrating! The tests from KU are not back yet, we are hopeful that we will have answers today. Please please if you would pray for him to have peace and relieve his pain & also for the doctors to have the knowledge to diagnose & treat him.I'll try and keep up on what we find out & thank you for all the thoughts and prayers this far. My family greatly appreciates it more than you know.
Chels
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Where Has Time Gone
Hello!!!!
It's been quite awhile since I have updated on our crazy perfect life.
Our first anniversary (August 27)came up quickly. Amazing how 365 days can fly by without realizing. It was quite the day; Derek, his parents & I were scheduled to leave on a cruise to celebrate our Anniversary & Derek's 30th birthday. Well....needless to say Hurricane Isaac had another plan in mind. We found out on our anniversary that the airline had cancelled our flight to New Orleans due to the weather....completely understandable. BUT...the cruise line was adamant that they were still cruising & at that point refused any type of refund/credit. Needless to say Derek & I will NEVER forget our first anniversary & thankfully we have credit to take another cruise!
Work is great! Very busy as I am the interim IVF coordinator for this cycle. I'm sitting in for a wonderful nurse that just had a beautiful baby boy!!! It's certainly a nice change, but man is it crazy! It is supposedly the biggest cycle we've had in 5 years!!!!! I'm really excited for it to get here, though I may regret that statement soon. :D
On the adoption front.....not much news. Derek & I have been working on getting our Dear BirthMother letter completed and tweaking our applications etc. As of right now, we are thinking of turning it (application) in at the end of November. This way I'm through craziness at work and we have a few months of 'budgeting' per my husbands request :)
Now, don't get me wrong, if a situation rises in between now and then, we would certainly move forward without question. We're just not quite ready to dive into an agency quite yet!
So I ask you a favor....please keep Derek and I in your thoughts and prayers. We really are leaning on God to show us the correct path and trusting he will light the way to starting our family.
Again if you know of ANY situation of a child needing or a friend that's pregnant and considering adoption, give them our email or even this blog.
We greatly appreciate all of the support throughout this process and hope and pray even more will come as our journey unfolds.
XOXO
It's been quite awhile since I have updated on our crazy perfect life.
Our first anniversary (August 27)came up quickly. Amazing how 365 days can fly by without realizing. It was quite the day; Derek, his parents & I were scheduled to leave on a cruise to celebrate our Anniversary & Derek's 30th birthday. Well....needless to say Hurricane Isaac had another plan in mind. We found out on our anniversary that the airline had cancelled our flight to New Orleans due to the weather....completely understandable. BUT...the cruise line was adamant that they were still cruising & at that point refused any type of refund/credit. Needless to say Derek & I will NEVER forget our first anniversary & thankfully we have credit to take another cruise!
Work is great! Very busy as I am the interim IVF coordinator for this cycle. I'm sitting in for a wonderful nurse that just had a beautiful baby boy!!! It's certainly a nice change, but man is it crazy! It is supposedly the biggest cycle we've had in 5 years!!!!! I'm really excited for it to get here, though I may regret that statement soon. :D
On the adoption front.....not much news. Derek & I have been working on getting our Dear BirthMother letter completed and tweaking our applications etc. As of right now, we are thinking of turning it (application) in at the end of November. This way I'm through craziness at work and we have a few months of 'budgeting' per my husbands request :)
Now, don't get me wrong, if a situation rises in between now and then, we would certainly move forward without question. We're just not quite ready to dive into an agency quite yet!
So I ask you a favor....please keep Derek and I in your thoughts and prayers. We really are leaning on God to show us the correct path and trusting he will light the way to starting our family.
Again if you know of ANY situation of a child needing or a friend that's pregnant and considering adoption, give them our email or even this blog.
We greatly appreciate all of the support throughout this process and hope and pray even more will come as our journey unfolds.
XOXO
Friday, July 13, 2012
The Weight Is Lifted
Our home study is done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was such a soul searching, undeniably stressful, and exciting time. This was the big piece to our puzzle to be able to send in our application! Now that it's done, I feel like I'm 1000lbs lighter.
It's funny because you would think you would be nervous in the situation, but really it's just talking about yourself to a new friend. I am supposedly the most organized person she's talked to, HA! I just made sure that the 1,234,5674 documents she needed were completed and ready! I couldn't imagine not having it done when she came. Anyways.....it's done. Now she has to write a 8-10 page paper on the information she collected last night. I would suspect we will get it in a month or so.
Perfect timing since Derek and I are heading on a cruise in August for our year anniversary, his 30th birthday & our 5 year dating anniversary! Lots to celebrate this year& hopefully more to come!
Otherwise our life has been pretty busy in other areas. Work for me is crazy busy,but it's great! Derek's been just as busy I am. We have lots of plans these next few months with family & friends, and I couldn't be happier.
My longtime friend Charlie came & took pictures for us for our one year & also our adoption portfolio. They are amazing! Here's a little sneak peek.
Our life is going so smoothly lately that I'll probably regret writing this. I couldn't imagine going through this process with anyone else but Derek. He's my rock and without him, my friends & family; I wouldn't be the person I am today.
XOXO
It's funny because you would think you would be nervous in the situation, but really it's just talking about yourself to a new friend. I am supposedly the most organized person she's talked to, HA! I just made sure that the 1,234,5674 documents she needed were completed and ready! I couldn't imagine not having it done when she came. Anyways.....it's done. Now she has to write a 8-10 page paper on the information she collected last night. I would suspect we will get it in a month or so.
Perfect timing since Derek and I are heading on a cruise in August for our year anniversary, his 30th birthday & our 5 year dating anniversary! Lots to celebrate this year& hopefully more to come!
Otherwise our life has been pretty busy in other areas. Work for me is crazy busy,but it's great! Derek's been just as busy I am. We have lots of plans these next few months with family & friends, and I couldn't be happier.
My longtime friend Charlie came & took pictures for us for our one year & also our adoption portfolio. They are amazing! Here's a little sneak peek.
Our life is going so smoothly lately that I'll probably regret writing this. I couldn't imagine going through this process with anyone else but Derek. He's my rock and without him, my friends & family; I wouldn't be the person I am today.
XOXO
Saturday, June 30, 2012
It's been awhile!
Wow! I knew it would be awhile since we have been so busy! Works been great, busy with friends, family and just plain life! I wish I could have a few moments of serenity, but as life goes, it won't be happening for awhile!
My great friend from my childhood came over & took some updated photos for our profile! I can't wait to see them! The preview was amazing, can't wait to see them edited!
Derek & I had put a hold on our adoption process....well I shouldn't say hold, we just took a little break. It was a whirl wind the first few times researching and meeting the appropriate people. We felt a little overwhelmed! Now that we know where we are going & the agency we are using, it's just the negalities!
Here's quite a list that has to be done before submitting our application:
1.Application- this seems to be quite easy, just very redundant. It does really make you think!
2. Home Study- this little booger is the big daddy of it all! There are about 7-8 things needed for just this alone.
-fingerprints for the KDHE (make sure we don't abuse or neglect children)
-KBI/ FBI background check
-3 letters of references stating how they know us, for how long & if they think we are suitable to become parents.
-1 letter of medical reasoning & if we are physically & mentally healthy to be parents.
- a budget
- marriage license
- last years tax returns
- our last pay stubs
- then the social worker comes to your home & evaluates your house, family, childhood and anything else that would be pertinent to make sure we are a good home/family for a child.
Quite a list huh? Not done yet!
Now comes the difficult part for us!
3. The Dear Birthmother letter- this is where you explain yourself to the women that is wanting to adopt their baby. It has to be descriptive but not to in depth. Date all the way back to your childhood, then to now. Example: what you do for a living, what your marriage is like, your families thoughts on adoption etc...I could go on and on and on!
4. Interview- They also require an interview process to learn more about you & to see if you are a good fit for that specific agency!
5. Once this is all complete & have all of the appropriate paperwork, you send it to the agency/lawyer that you are using & wait!
What a process!!!! Of course all of the above costs money & quite a bit of it! I'm sure I also forgot something! It's been the focus of my mind the passed few months!
We have our home study scheduled for July 12! I'm nervous and excited! The lady that was recommended to us, I've heard only wonderful things about!
On top of all this, Derek's grandpa has not been doing well. He's been in and out of the hospital & we are waiting for some test results. Please keep him & our family in your prayers!
So in a nutshell, we have been very busy with just our life! We can't wait to get through this process & hopefully find the child that is meant for our family!
More later.......XOXO
My great friend from my childhood came over & took some updated photos for our profile! I can't wait to see them! The preview was amazing, can't wait to see them edited!
Derek & I had put a hold on our adoption process....well I shouldn't say hold, we just took a little break. It was a whirl wind the first few times researching and meeting the appropriate people. We felt a little overwhelmed! Now that we know where we are going & the agency we are using, it's just the negalities!
Here's quite a list that has to be done before submitting our application:
1.Application- this seems to be quite easy, just very redundant. It does really make you think!
2. Home Study- this little booger is the big daddy of it all! There are about 7-8 things needed for just this alone.
-fingerprints for the KDHE (make sure we don't abuse or neglect children)
-KBI/ FBI background check
-3 letters of references stating how they know us, for how long & if they think we are suitable to become parents.
-1 letter of medical reasoning & if we are physically & mentally healthy to be parents.
- a budget
- marriage license
- last years tax returns
- our last pay stubs
- then the social worker comes to your home & evaluates your house, family, childhood and anything else that would be pertinent to make sure we are a good home/family for a child.
Quite a list huh? Not done yet!
Now comes the difficult part for us!
3. The Dear Birthmother letter- this is where you explain yourself to the women that is wanting to adopt their baby. It has to be descriptive but not to in depth. Date all the way back to your childhood, then to now. Example: what you do for a living, what your marriage is like, your families thoughts on adoption etc...I could go on and on and on!
4. Interview- They also require an interview process to learn more about you & to see if you are a good fit for that specific agency!
5. Once this is all complete & have all of the appropriate paperwork, you send it to the agency/lawyer that you are using & wait!
What a process!!!! Of course all of the above costs money & quite a bit of it! I'm sure I also forgot something! It's been the focus of my mind the passed few months!
We have our home study scheduled for July 12! I'm nervous and excited! The lady that was recommended to us, I've heard only wonderful things about!
On top of all this, Derek's grandpa has not been doing well. He's been in and out of the hospital & we are waiting for some test results. Please keep him & our family in your prayers!
So in a nutshell, we have been very busy with just our life! We can't wait to get through this process & hopefully find the child that is meant for our family!
More later.......XOXO
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Support
Wow! I know I had reservations in posting my blog, but the out pour of support , thoughtfulness, sweet comments, and love that Derek and I received is amazing!
THANK YOU!
Words can not express the feeling we have for supporting us in this difficult time.
We have decided to look into Catholic Charities adoption center as well. Since they work in conjunction with a lawyer here in town, possibly this will be where God wants us to be. We know it's HIS way and I can't wait for the path he takes us on.
Derek and I have done a lot around the house this weekend. He decided we needed to refinish the play set out back. He's not just supporting it, but staining it to look just like our house....his idea too :) pictures to come as it will hopefully be done today! After work, I was able to get all of my errands done, picking up dry cleaning, grocery shipping, laundry, and even cleaned the inside of my car!
My parents surprised us and took us out to dinner, which was great. Neither Derek or I wanted to cook lol!
Other than that the weekend will consist of working, church and dinner at my parents house. Sound like a great Sunday to me!
XOXO
THANK YOU!
Words can not express the feeling we have for supporting us in this difficult time.
We have decided to look into Catholic Charities adoption center as well. Since they work in conjunction with a lawyer here in town, possibly this will be where God wants us to be. We know it's HIS way and I can't wait for the path he takes us on.
Derek and I have done a lot around the house this weekend. He decided we needed to refinish the play set out back. He's not just supporting it, but staining it to look just like our house....his idea too :) pictures to come as it will hopefully be done today! After work, I was able to get all of my errands done, picking up dry cleaning, grocery shipping, laundry, and even cleaned the inside of my car!
My parents surprised us and took us out to dinner, which was great. Neither Derek or I wanted to cook lol!
Other than that the weekend will consist of working, church and dinner at my parents house. Sound like a great Sunday to me!
XOXO
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Breakdown
This week has been so nice at work. Two of our doctors are on vacation, therefore we've only had clinic in the mornings. Always nice to have a slow week every once in awhile. so I got to take the afternoon off yesterday!
I went ahead and met with another adoption attourney to get more information about the process as well as to get our name out there. I had actually got her name from one of my junior league friends that adopted this year. She's so nice and easy to talk to, very informative! We got quite a bit of information and I was quite excited. She told me "I could find you a birth mom tomorrow if you asked me to" this put a smile on my face....your probably asking why is this post is named breakdown?!
Well.....
She could certainly find us a birth mom tomorrow, but we would have to have ~$20,000 available that same day. I don't know about you, but we don't have this laying around. I wish we did! So after Derek and I talked last night, we figured that it will take us about 2 years to save a good chunk of this and still be comfortable in bring a baby home.
I think I had nightmares about that number. We are giving a child a home, where they wouldn't be taken care of, and paying 20K.....REALLY?? Don't get me wrong, I understand it costs money, everything does! But WOW!!!
I broke down after our conversation...Derek said what would you want to do if we had half saved in 9-12 months, I looked at him and said " All I want is a baby" I know he understands this, he wants it just as bad as I do, but he is the realistic one of us. If I had my choice, I would have signed up yesterday at her office!
So... Here we go! Money saving begins...I could go play the lottery I guess HA
So what I ask of you all that read this, If you know of anyone that is needing to adopt there infant, please forward them my email. This is the only thing that could make this process somewhat affordable for us.
I understand that this is all in Gods plan, but right now, I just don't agree!
XOXO
I went ahead and met with another adoption attourney to get more information about the process as well as to get our name out there. I had actually got her name from one of my junior league friends that adopted this year. She's so nice and easy to talk to, very informative! We got quite a bit of information and I was quite excited. She told me "I could find you a birth mom tomorrow if you asked me to" this put a smile on my face....your probably asking why is this post is named breakdown?!
Well.....
She could certainly find us a birth mom tomorrow, but we would have to have ~$20,000 available that same day. I don't know about you, but we don't have this laying around. I wish we did! So after Derek and I talked last night, we figured that it will take us about 2 years to save a good chunk of this and still be comfortable in bring a baby home.
I think I had nightmares about that number. We are giving a child a home, where they wouldn't be taken care of, and paying 20K.....REALLY?? Don't get me wrong, I understand it costs money, everything does! But WOW!!!
I broke down after our conversation...Derek said what would you want to do if we had half saved in 9-12 months, I looked at him and said " All I want is a baby" I know he understands this, he wants it just as bad as I do, but he is the realistic one of us. If I had my choice, I would have signed up yesterday at her office!
So... Here we go! Money saving begins...I could go play the lottery I guess HA
So what I ask of you all that read this, If you know of anyone that is needing to adopt there infant, please forward them my email. This is the only thing that could make this process somewhat affordable for us.
I understand that this is all in Gods plan, but right now, I just don't agree!
XOXO
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Family & Friends
While going through this journey, Derek & I have realized that our family & friends are the most important part! There support and encouragement make this process just a little easier.
We have decided to take a year and let things just happen. We thought about signing up with an agency, but we just feel like there is something holding us back from that right now. I completely believe in divine intervention and know that God will lead us in the right direction.
It's been really hard though the past few weeks. I've noticed more pregnant people and babies than I EVER had in the past. This is saying a lot for the fact of where I work. I'm trying my hardest to stay positive and strong, but the bottom line is, I'm just ready to be a mom. I want that child that turns our life upside down, and I will embrace this with open arms.
It's the best feeling though seeing some of my favorite patients become parents. Some are for the first time and others are for the 2nd or 3rd, but seeing it through to the end result is more gratifying than I can explain. I love my job more than I ever thought I would, and I know that I am where I should be.
Please keep praying for us that we find peace through this time and that God sends us the child we are meant to have.
XOXO
We have decided to take a year and let things just happen. We thought about signing up with an agency, but we just feel like there is something holding us back from that right now. I completely believe in divine intervention and know that God will lead us in the right direction.
It's been really hard though the past few weeks. I've noticed more pregnant people and babies than I EVER had in the past. This is saying a lot for the fact of where I work. I'm trying my hardest to stay positive and strong, but the bottom line is, I'm just ready to be a mom. I want that child that turns our life upside down, and I will embrace this with open arms.
It's the best feeling though seeing some of my favorite patients become parents. Some are for the first time and others are for the 2nd or 3rd, but seeing it through to the end result is more gratifying than I can explain. I love my job more than I ever thought I would, and I know that I am where I should be.
Please keep praying for us that we find peace through this time and that God sends us the child we are meant to have.
XOXO
Sunday, May 27, 2012
It's been awhile!
Well Hello All!
Sorry for the break in writing, really needed some time to think this all through! It's hard when you're little ray of hope is taken away so quickly! I couldn't have made it through without Derek, our families, and our friends! Thanks to all of you for your kind words, prayers and thoughtfulness!
As for our next step, we are in the waiting game for a bit. We met with our lawyer last week to speak about the adoption process, what to look out for and what our next steps would be. We feel at this time we need to get our names out there with everyone we know, as our lawyer said, everyone has a sister/brother that has a friend in a tough situation. So that's what we are doing!
As for life in general it's been crazy busy! Just got back from Chicago a week ago, that was quite a trip! We were there during the NATO summit, which technically means it was the s safest city we could agave been in! There were cops every corner of every street, though there were plenty of protesters, we never ran in to anything. We were able to take in a sox/cubs game at Wrigley Field, amazing atmosphere, never figured out the public transit, met up with one of our best friends, and Derek's old roommate! I'd say it was a fun filled weekend! Definitely glad to be home!
If anyone knows of anything regarding adoption and you think that we might be a good fit, please contact me at
Chelsea_derek_mullins@yahoo.com.
XoXo
Sorry for the break in writing, really needed some time to think this all through! It's hard when you're little ray of hope is taken away so quickly! I couldn't have made it through without Derek, our families, and our friends! Thanks to all of you for your kind words, prayers and thoughtfulness!
As for our next step, we are in the waiting game for a bit. We met with our lawyer last week to speak about the adoption process, what to look out for and what our next steps would be. We feel at this time we need to get our names out there with everyone we know, as our lawyer said, everyone has a sister/brother that has a friend in a tough situation. So that's what we are doing!
As for life in general it's been crazy busy! Just got back from Chicago a week ago, that was quite a trip! We were there during the NATO summit, which technically means it was the s safest city we could agave been in! There were cops every corner of every street, though there were plenty of protesters, we never ran in to anything. We were able to take in a sox/cubs game at Wrigley Field, amazing atmosphere, never figured out the public transit, met up with one of our best friends, and Derek's old roommate! I'd say it was a fun filled weekend! Definitely glad to be home!
If anyone knows of anything regarding adoption and you think that we might be a good fit, please contact me at
Chelsea_derek_mullins@yahoo.com.
XoXo
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Day 26 cont & 27....The New Path Begins
Once Derek came home, I lost it again, it's the hardest feeling knowing that the glimmer of hope is taken from both him and I so quickly. We both just layed there and cried. Dr. Tjaden called after a little while and was so thoughtful. He has a way with making you feel like everything will be alright, even though in that moment it didn't feel like it. He asked if we were willing to try again. I told him it was hard to say, it's not just Derek and I we have to think about, it's also Roberta and her family. It's not as easy signing up two different parties.
I knew that this day would come, but I wasn't so sure that it would come so quickly. The word ADOPTION was always in the back of my mind, but now it would have to be brought to the for front. I had done a lot of research, as you saw in one my past posts, I named a agency that I'm really fond of. Derek & I leave for the windy city, Chicago, next week; amazingly enough the agency is only a hour away. I felt like at that moment when I realzied this, that that was God telling me that everything is in his timing and that's it's all part of his plan. I was instantly at peace with what had happened and knew we had to move on. I will forever wonder what it would have been like to have a biological child. Emby's picture will never go unoticed in the nursery that someday we will fill with a child we have been longing for.
I came across a wonderful blog about a couple's path to the decision of adoption and their process of adopting a child from Africa click here to go to their website. They had the cutest "adoption" photos. Instead of having "maternity" photos they took picutres of themselves with many cute props and things. I will be calling on my good friend Charlie to take some of these for us. I can't wait.
I knew that this day would come, but I wasn't so sure that it would come so quickly. The word ADOPTION was always in the back of my mind, but now it would have to be brought to the for front. I had done a lot of research, as you saw in one my past posts, I named a agency that I'm really fond of. Derek & I leave for the windy city, Chicago, next week; amazingly enough the agency is only a hour away. I felt like at that moment when I realzied this, that that was God telling me that everything is in his timing and that's it's all part of his plan. I was instantly at peace with what had happened and knew we had to move on. I will forever wonder what it would have been like to have a biological child. Emby's picture will never go unoticed in the nursery that someday we will fill with a child we have been longing for.
I came across a wonderful blog about a couple's path to the decision of adoption and their process of adopting a child from Africa click here to go to their website. They had the cutest "adoption" photos. Instead of having "maternity" photos they took picutres of themselves with many cute props and things. I will be calling on my good friend Charlie to take some of these for us. I can't wait.
How cute are these. Seriously. The best idea I've ever seen and I will make sure to tell her and thank her for idea's and wonderful words. They make newby's like Derek and I feel like we can do it too.
This melted my heart. If you're reading this for the first time, please know that this blog will now change to my husband and I's journey into adoption.
If you have any information about a possible birth mother that is in need of a good home, information on good agencies that you have worked with or know of, or any good words of encouragement we would greatly appreciate it!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
The Finale For Now....Day 25 & 26
Jeremiah 29:11
Tuesday was pretty easy going until the evening. It hit me like a ton of bricks that we were finding out the next day! I'm so glad that I wasn't the one carrying because I would have drove myself bonkers crazy!
Wednesday arrive just as every week does,it almost seemed like a normal day; until I walked into work. Then the feeling of unknown hit me, my heart started racing and a pit the size of Texas rose in my stomach. Everyone at work was super excited to hear the news! They wanted her to test ASAP!!
Once lunch time came, I figured I'd give her a call because I knew she would want to get out of there early because of the 3 straight weeks of work. She said that they already drew her but they weren't running it yet.
At that moment, I knew it was negative, it was like a wave of peace came over me. But I knew I needed to stay + until I knew it was really -. She just had this sound in her voice that I couldn't quite pin down, she just wasn't herself.
After lunch I went to the lab to tell them they could run the test anytime. I just needed to know! Janet hem hawed around and said well it might be ready in 30 minutes or maybe not. That pit in my stomach returned, but I had to get back to work.
Time flew by and before I knew it Janet had a envelope in her hand. It read Chelsea & Derrick (sp), it had the answer inside, but I couldn't bring myself to open it. Finally Mary said, let me look first, and then I'll tell you. Deb was so sweet and gave me a hug, by that time I was shaking and my heart was racing! I finally gained enough courage to open the envelope, and I saw it. The number I had been dreading, the one I call day in and day out to patients, the <5. It was negative.
I was shocked, confused, angry, sad & every other emotion you can think of. I couldn't understand why we couldn't catch a break, just once, it was all I was asking! I sat there without emotion for what seemed like forever, then it hit me. As one tear started to fall I knew there wasn't going to be any stopping it! Mary saw this coming and gave me a huge hug and cried with me. I'm not sure there was a dry eye anywhere! They were all just as excited for this as we were. After Mary, there was an influx of hugs all around, it made it easier to cry, they have all gone through this with patient after patient.
After I gathered enough courage up to stand, I knew I couldn't stay at work. I needed to be at home were my cries wouldn't be heard and I could process this news. I walked past Megan's office and she knew right away. She asked me why I found out now, I told her I just needed to know! On my way out the door, Dr. Tatpati was in her office, I walked in and said "better luck next time?" she then pulled me into a hug and started elaborating why things happen for a reason and that all we have to do is try again. We have good odds in getting pregnant, we just have to find the right egg! She is so compassionate about her work and knows exactly what to say, it just wasn't what I wanted to hear.
I drove home in a blur, I really don't remember the drive besides calling Derek. He knew as soon as he heard me crying, he's an amazingly strong man and husband and I thank God everyday for him!
The rest of the afternoon I cried so hard I fell asleep, I would wake up and cry some more. I sent a text to all of of the people that have been on pins and needles, supporting Derek and I through this. I couldn't bare to tell anyone on the phone. I knew it was going to be the hardest in telling our parents & families! There was an influx of text messages and phone calls, and I tried my best to answer them all. I just couldn't believe that this was our plan......
More to come in the next few days!
XOXO
Tuesday was pretty easy going until the evening. It hit me like a ton of bricks that we were finding out the next day! I'm so glad that I wasn't the one carrying because I would have drove myself bonkers crazy!
Wednesday arrive just as every week does,it almost seemed like a normal day; until I walked into work. Then the feeling of unknown hit me, my heart started racing and a pit the size of Texas rose in my stomach. Everyone at work was super excited to hear the news! They wanted her to test ASAP!!
Once lunch time came, I figured I'd give her a call because I knew she would want to get out of there early because of the 3 straight weeks of work. She said that they already drew her but they weren't running it yet.
At that moment, I knew it was negative, it was like a wave of peace came over me. But I knew I needed to stay + until I knew it was really -. She just had this sound in her voice that I couldn't quite pin down, she just wasn't herself.
After lunch I went to the lab to tell them they could run the test anytime. I just needed to know! Janet hem hawed around and said well it might be ready in 30 minutes or maybe not. That pit in my stomach returned, but I had to get back to work.
Time flew by and before I knew it Janet had a envelope in her hand. It read Chelsea & Derrick (sp), it had the answer inside, but I couldn't bring myself to open it. Finally Mary said, let me look first, and then I'll tell you. Deb was so sweet and gave me a hug, by that time I was shaking and my heart was racing! I finally gained enough courage to open the envelope, and I saw it. The number I had been dreading, the one I call day in and day out to patients, the <5. It was negative.
I was shocked, confused, angry, sad & every other emotion you can think of. I couldn't understand why we couldn't catch a break, just once, it was all I was asking! I sat there without emotion for what seemed like forever, then it hit me. As one tear started to fall I knew there wasn't going to be any stopping it! Mary saw this coming and gave me a huge hug and cried with me. I'm not sure there was a dry eye anywhere! They were all just as excited for this as we were. After Mary, there was an influx of hugs all around, it made it easier to cry, they have all gone through this with patient after patient.
After I gathered enough courage up to stand, I knew I couldn't stay at work. I needed to be at home were my cries wouldn't be heard and I could process this news. I walked past Megan's office and she knew right away. She asked me why I found out now, I told her I just needed to know! On my way out the door, Dr. Tatpati was in her office, I walked in and said "better luck next time?" she then pulled me into a hug and started elaborating why things happen for a reason and that all we have to do is try again. We have good odds in getting pregnant, we just have to find the right egg! She is so compassionate about her work and knows exactly what to say, it just wasn't what I wanted to hear.
I drove home in a blur, I really don't remember the drive besides calling Derek. He knew as soon as he heard me crying, he's an amazingly strong man and husband and I thank God everyday for him!
The rest of the afternoon I cried so hard I fell asleep, I would wake up and cry some more. I sent a text to all of of the people that have been on pins and needles, supporting Derek and I through this. I couldn't bare to tell anyone on the phone. I knew it was going to be the hardest in telling our parents & families! There was an influx of text messages and phone calls, and I tried my best to answer them all. I just couldn't believe that this was our plan......
More to come in the next few days!
XOXO
Monday, May 7, 2012
The Week Leading Up....Day 20-24
Well.....Not much to talk about. It's been a week that has brought more thoughts and I'm ready for it to be Wednesday 5/9/12. That's the day it will come down to a BFP or BFN. (+/-). I can't believe it though. Throughout the week it's of course crossed my mind but I haven't been as stressed as I thought I would be.
I honestly thought that these would be the hardest 10+ days of our lives.
My husband has been fantastic. We were talking last night about how we wanted to find out. He said that he would be fine if I found out first and then I could let him know when I came home. I don't know how I feel about this. I'm sure I'll be nipping at the bit by Wednesday, but I would like us both to know together. We shall see.
I did text Roberta this morning and said "I'm so glad that it's you and not me, because if it was me, I would have tested over a 1000 times by now." She just laughed and said, I'll test on Wednesday :)
I've started looking at the adoption agency again. I know that probably sounds crazy to some of you, but I really want to make sure that we have a back up plan. Not is it at all that I don't want this to work, but I know myself. As long as I have something else to focus on, I'll be OK. Maybe we will try IVF again later one, but for right now, I'm just now feeling like myself.
I had a weird dream on Tuesdsay that both Roberta and I got pregnant this cycle. Now that was something I was a bit scared and overwhelmed when I woke up, then realized it was just dream. Thank goodness! Low a behold after that dream, mother nature decided to rear her ugly head and come visit. It was the worst one I've ever had in my life. The cramps were so horrible that I couldn't NOT sleep on my heating pad and could bearly walk. BUT...I made it through work and was able to have a nice and relaxing weekend with 2 of our neighbors. We shopped and dined and had some much needed adult beverages. It was much needed and I had a fabulous time.
Back to work today.....I can't believe it's almost here. I feel like I should be counting down the hours, but all I want to do, is make it through them and have good news. That's all I'm praying for and we would appreciate it if you would do that for us. God has been keeping me a peace throughout this process and I hope he continues it. I know that it's because of all of you that he's hearing your prayers for Derek, I and hopefully our growing family.
XOXO
I honestly thought that these would be the hardest 10+ days of our lives.
My husband has been fantastic. We were talking last night about how we wanted to find out. He said that he would be fine if I found out first and then I could let him know when I came home. I don't know how I feel about this. I'm sure I'll be nipping at the bit by Wednesday, but I would like us both to know together. We shall see.
I did text Roberta this morning and said "I'm so glad that it's you and not me, because if it was me, I would have tested over a 1000 times by now." She just laughed and said, I'll test on Wednesday :)
I've started looking at the adoption agency again. I know that probably sounds crazy to some of you, but I really want to make sure that we have a back up plan. Not is it at all that I don't want this to work, but I know myself. As long as I have something else to focus on, I'll be OK. Maybe we will try IVF again later one, but for right now, I'm just now feeling like myself.
This is the adoption agency that we will hopefully work with if this process leads us there.
I hope and pray that later on in life,
when it's time to add to our family, we use them, just not right now.
Back to work today.....I can't believe it's almost here. I feel like I should be counting down the hours, but all I want to do, is make it through them and have good news. That's all I'm praying for and we would appreciate it if you would do that for us. God has been keeping me a peace throughout this process and I hope he continues it. I know that it's because of all of you that he's hearing your prayers for Derek, I and hopefully our growing family.
XOXO
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Days Are Running Together...Day 17,18,19
I told myself when I started this blog, that I would write everyday....well it's my first time I didn't do that! It's been nothing special the last few days.
Enjoyed Sunday with the hubby and pup. Went to church and rehearsed the skit for JLW for Tuesday.
Monday was a whirl wind. Returning back to work after 5 days off is something else! I had to go to the doctor because my my asthma decided to say hello. Things are good though! Nothing a inhaler and new allergy med won't take care of! Besides that, super busy day at work and a night walking the pup and watering flowers!
Today was a long one! Work was busy again...it's welcoming me back with opening arms though!! I love my job and am soo glad to be back! Then after work it was straight home to change and off my good Laura and I to buy flowers for our LAST JLW meeting of the year! We performed our skit tonight, it was fabulous! Better than we could have imagined! Very happy!!!!
Off to be now! Busy week ahead & then possibly off to KC this weekend, as long as my body works with me!
XOXO!
Enjoyed Sunday with the hubby and pup. Went to church and rehearsed the skit for JLW for Tuesday.
Monday was a whirl wind. Returning back to work after 5 days off is something else! I had to go to the doctor because my my asthma decided to say hello. Things are good though! Nothing a inhaler and new allergy med won't take care of! Besides that, super busy day at work and a night walking the pup and watering flowers!
Today was a long one! Work was busy again...it's welcoming me back with opening arms though!! I love my job and am soo glad to be back! Then after work it was straight home to change and off my good Laura and I to buy flowers for our LAST JLW meeting of the year! We performed our skit tonight, it was fabulous! Better than we could have imagined! Very happy!!!!
Off to be now! Busy week ahead & then possibly off to KC this weekend, as long as my body works with me!
XOXO!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Transfer....Day 16
It's the BIG DAY....the day that we were hoping to get to. I can't believe we made it. Derek and I have been through some crazy emotions the last few weeks but they all culminated today. We finally have the chance to become parents to OUR child. Not that we won't welcome a child into our home through adoption if that's what is in store for us, but at least we can say we tried! We woke up to quite a dreary day, both Derek and I had no idea that it was supposed to be cloudy.
Kind of a representation of our mood looking back. Dark, Scared, Gloomy on the Horizon.
BUT....we also got an amazing chance to meet a sweet little girl whom daughter she is to two very special people in our lives. Libby Ann Beagley came into this world more loved and excited about. I'm informed from an anonymous source that both parents cried when she entered this world! She was a little one only weighing 5.15. But hey, theres nothing wrong with being itty bitty!
After leaving the hospital my mind and stomach got the best of me and we went home and rested and napped until it was time for our appointment. Roberta called and asked if we could come earlier because poor Klaus (Embryologist) had food poisoning and was needing to get back to the hotel. So we were there with time to spare. We were so excited and nervous and scared.
We didn't even talk the whole way there.
After we arrived, we found Dr. Tjaden, and he took us to the transfer room. The resident also came in for us which we appreciated so much. Then of course Roberta, Janet and Klaus all came in to identify us and it was go time. They even brought us our very first picture.
This is what's called a 7B. It has 7 cells and has a little bit of debris so it's rated a B (like in school). It's right where it should be on a Day 3 transfer though.
It was really neat, the resident was telling us that her sister went through IVF, only had 4 eggs, one fertilized and was transferred and they got pregnant. I have faith. I know that this will happen. Someday in the near future we will be able to call ourselves parents in the making.
Grow Emby Grow!
After the festivities we decided we couldn't just go home so we went to Menards. Yes Menards. We are gettting old, I know. We are updating all of our hardware in our house, it was the first day that I felt good enough to get out, and we had just had our embryo implanted. We had to celebrate somehow. Since we aren't eating out at any restaraunt on our dime the month of April, we couldn't celebrate in food. So why not housware.
We are so ready for the next 2 weeks to fly by. Roberta even said she'll start testing in 5 days, because even she wants to know. We could be more blessed to have such a wonderful support system.
Once we got home, Derek but some of the hardware on the doors, I got a wild hair to cook. Not just dinner but sweets! So my pinteresting has become out of control so I decided to take 2 recipes and make both of them.
First on the list was French Toast Bake
Then it was on Reese's & Chocolate Chip Big Cookie
After both of these. It was time for bed. So off I went....into the arms of my hubby and super cudly puppy.
XOXO
Kind of a representation of our mood looking back. Dark, Scared, Gloomy on the Horizon.
BUT....we also got an amazing chance to meet a sweet little girl whom daughter she is to two very special people in our lives. Libby Ann Beagley came into this world more loved and excited about. I'm informed from an anonymous source that both parents cried when she entered this world! She was a little one only weighing 5.15. But hey, theres nothing wrong with being itty bitty!
After leaving the hospital my mind and stomach got the best of me and we went home and rested and napped until it was time for our appointment. Roberta called and asked if we could come earlier because poor Klaus (Embryologist) had food poisoning and was needing to get back to the hotel. So we were there with time to spare. We were so excited and nervous and scared.
We didn't even talk the whole way there.
After we arrived, we found Dr. Tjaden, and he took us to the transfer room. The resident also came in for us which we appreciated so much. Then of course Roberta, Janet and Klaus all came in to identify us and it was go time. They even brought us our very first picture.
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| Our Little Embryo (Emby) |
This is what's called a 7B. It has 7 cells and has a little bit of debris so it's rated a B (like in school). It's right where it should be on a Day 3 transfer though.
It was really neat, the resident was telling us that her sister went through IVF, only had 4 eggs, one fertilized and was transferred and they got pregnant. I have faith. I know that this will happen. Someday in the near future we will be able to call ourselves parents in the making.
Grow Emby Grow!
After the festivities we decided we couldn't just go home so we went to Menards. Yes Menards. We are gettting old, I know. We are updating all of our hardware in our house, it was the first day that I felt good enough to get out, and we had just had our embryo implanted. We had to celebrate somehow. Since we aren't eating out at any restaraunt on our dime the month of April, we couldn't celebrate in food. So why not housware.
We are so ready for the next 2 weeks to fly by. Roberta even said she'll start testing in 5 days, because even she wants to know. We could be more blessed to have such a wonderful support system.
Once we got home, Derek but some of the hardware on the doors, I got a wild hair to cook. Not just dinner but sweets! So my pinteresting has become out of control so I decided to take 2 recipes and make both of them.
First on the list was French Toast Bake
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| This was the end result. So Delicisous and Easy. |
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| It even has a Pretzel Crust. |
XOXO
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Hardest Day So Far...Day 15
This has been the hardest day so far. I didn't sleep well last night, thinking and hoping and praying that our little embryo's are growing. I know that all you need is one and I believe this to be so true. You just want the process that you're going through to mean something. Throughout my life I've always been blessed to have made it through the TOUGHEST obstacles. I've never wanted sympathy just patience and understanding.
Derek had taken the day off due to an appointment with the dermatologist. He was needing a few moles removed as well as we needed to get the Truck tagged and my tag updated. But the first thing on my mind wasn't either of those things, it was the call. I had texted Roberta early that morning, "hoping for good news again today". She called and of course I missed it. Calling her back, my heart was racing, I was sweating and I could feel my cheeks flushing. She then said, "We have one that looks perfect, the other didn't cleve (this meaning it didn't continue growing) The one that continued was a 5 cell, which is right were it should be on Day 2. The other was still a 2 cell, therefore it probably won't become anything, but she said she was going to keep it and look at it tomorrow at transfer. If it had grown, we will transfer both, if not, we still have 1.
Our prayers so far have been answered, and now its on to the next step.
Transfer. Click Here For Info on Embryo Transfer
As long as the 5 cell continues to duplicate we will transfer tomorrow at 3:30pm. I'm really looking forward to getting our first baby picture. Even if things don't go the way we'd like at least we know we achieved something!
We spent over 5 hours at the tag office yesterday, after that it was nap time. I started not feeling well throughout the rest of the day and ended up calling Dr. Tjaden last night. I knew that it wasn't anything but I really just needed reassurance. He said we would evaluate tomorrow if I was still having pain and difficulties, but to keep up on Tylenol and Ibuprofen and watch for fevers (which I haven't had, Thank Goodness).
One of my best friends for Nursing school went into labor last night and at 2214 on Saturday morning Libby Ann Beagley entered the world at 5lb 15oz with a head full of hair. Can't wait to go and see her tomorrow.
Derek went down to hang out with our neighbors last night and took Bella. She had so much fun. She such a good dog. I went down for a little while but then was ready for bed. Didn't take long to fall asleep though, thats for sure.
Thank you to all that have stopped by and that have continued praying for us. We thank you and can feel the support.
XOXO
Derek had taken the day off due to an appointment with the dermatologist. He was needing a few moles removed as well as we needed to get the Truck tagged and my tag updated. But the first thing on my mind wasn't either of those things, it was the call. I had texted Roberta early that morning, "hoping for good news again today". She called and of course I missed it. Calling her back, my heart was racing, I was sweating and I could feel my cheeks flushing. She then said, "We have one that looks perfect, the other didn't cleve (this meaning it didn't continue growing) The one that continued was a 5 cell, which is right were it should be on Day 2. The other was still a 2 cell, therefore it probably won't become anything, but she said she was going to keep it and look at it tomorrow at transfer. If it had grown, we will transfer both, if not, we still have 1.
Our prayers so far have been answered, and now its on to the next step.
Transfer. Click Here For Info on Embryo Transfer
As long as the 5 cell continues to duplicate we will transfer tomorrow at 3:30pm. I'm really looking forward to getting our first baby picture. Even if things don't go the way we'd like at least we know we achieved something!
We spent over 5 hours at the tag office yesterday, after that it was nap time. I started not feeling well throughout the rest of the day and ended up calling Dr. Tjaden last night. I knew that it wasn't anything but I really just needed reassurance. He said we would evaluate tomorrow if I was still having pain and difficulties, but to keep up on Tylenol and Ibuprofen and watch for fevers (which I haven't had, Thank Goodness).
One of my best friends for Nursing school went into labor last night and at 2214 on Saturday morning Libby Ann Beagley entered the world at 5lb 15oz with a head full of hair. Can't wait to go and see her tomorrow.
Derek went down to hang out with our neighbors last night and took Bella. She had so much fun. She such a good dog. I went down for a little while but then was ready for bed. Didn't take long to fall asleep though, thats for sure.
Thank you to all that have stopped by and that have continued praying for us. We thank you and can feel the support.
XOXO
Nervousness is an Understatement...Day 14
The day after retrieval....the next few days weeks are going to be the toughest. We find out today how many of of my 3 eggs fertilized! Now if that's not scary enough, tomorrow we find out if the continued growing, then if they do (and that's a big IF) then we go to transfer on Saturday.
I can't begin to describe the feelings that have been going through my head....all the preparation, 12 days of horrible medicine, and then you wait. I feel as if this whole process was somewhat in our control, up until now. I know that God has a plan and will make whatever is supposed to happen, happen; but I really don't like the unknown!
I woke up to a missed call from Roberta, the message saying "call me, I have your Fert report, it's good news" I couldn't call her fast enough! 2/3 eggs fertilized! Thank God!!! I smiled and laughed and cried! Every milestone we jump, is a glorious day! I called Derek, My Parents, His Parents and sent out a mass text.
I was in quite a bit of discomfort, so after that excitement, I needed a nap :). Then one of my good friends and I caught up on some much need girl talk for almost an hour! Shell be 32 weeks on Tuesday with Twins! A boy and a girl! I couldn't be happier for a more deserving family!! I then got a phone call from Dr.Tjaden....I'm thankful to have such an amazing doctor! He told me the report about our two growing embryos! I can say it was good to hear it again! Then one of my colleagues from work called to check on me as well as to let us know about our little embryos! I couldn't work in better place with better people!
Most of the day after that was filled with heartwarming texts, phone calls and more napping. My hubby came home made a wonderful dinner and we relaxed (well he relaxed and i slept)
Tomorrow is new day and I hope that our next milestone is met as easy as the last 13!
XOXO
I can't begin to describe the feelings that have been going through my head....all the preparation, 12 days of horrible medicine, and then you wait. I feel as if this whole process was somewhat in our control, up until now. I know that God has a plan and will make whatever is supposed to happen, happen; but I really don't like the unknown!
I woke up to a missed call from Roberta, the message saying "call me, I have your Fert report, it's good news" I couldn't call her fast enough! 2/3 eggs fertilized! Thank God!!! I smiled and laughed and cried! Every milestone we jump, is a glorious day! I called Derek, My Parents, His Parents and sent out a mass text.
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| This is what they saw this morning. This is a Zygote, or Day 1 of Fertilization |
I was in quite a bit of discomfort, so after that excitement, I needed a nap :). Then one of my good friends and I caught up on some much need girl talk for almost an hour! Shell be 32 weeks on Tuesday with Twins! A boy and a girl! I couldn't be happier for a more deserving family!! I then got a phone call from Dr.Tjaden....I'm thankful to have such an amazing doctor! He told me the report about our two growing embryos! I can say it was good to hear it again! Then one of my colleagues from work called to check on me as well as to let us know about our little embryos! I couldn't work in better place with better people!
Most of the day after that was filled with heartwarming texts, phone calls and more napping. My hubby came home made a wonderful dinner and we relaxed (well he relaxed and i slept)
Tomorrow is new day and I hope that our next milestone is met as easy as the last 13!
XOXO
Thursday, April 26, 2012
BIG DAY....Day13
It's the day! I can't believe that it's finally here. Im amazed at how fast this has gone but also that we still have a long time to go. I'm so nervous that there won't be any...I know that crazy! I have to be patient and know things will work!
Retreival went well! Dr. Tjaden was able to get 3 eggs, 2 that look mature and 1 not so much. 2 follicles were empty which kinda stinks, but we have 3! That's way better than 0! They were also able to find my right ovary, way out in the stratosphere of my abdomen. Not surprising! But Dr. Tjaden was nervous to get anything off of it due to the fact of the placement and what was around it. So he got what he could!
Slept most of the day away. I was thankful that my mom came over. Derek had a big meeting today at work so he had to go up to Hesston after we got home. My mom is so wonderful though, while I slept, she grocery shopped, folded laundry and made us dinner. I wouldn't know what to do without her! Every step of my crazy life she has been by my side and I wouldn't want it any other way.
Off to bed early due to the fact that my I keep cramping anytime I move. I know it's happening for a reason and have to keep healing now! It's all up to the good Lord above. Please keep prayers coming that are egg fertilize and we make it to retrieval!
Retreival went well! Dr. Tjaden was able to get 3 eggs, 2 that look mature and 1 not so much. 2 follicles were empty which kinda stinks, but we have 3! That's way better than 0! They were also able to find my right ovary, way out in the stratosphere of my abdomen. Not surprising! But Dr. Tjaden was nervous to get anything off of it due to the fact of the placement and what was around it. So he got what he could!
Slept most of the day away. I was thankful that my mom came over. Derek had a big meeting today at work so he had to go up to Hesston after we got home. My mom is so wonderful though, while I slept, she grocery shopped, folded laundry and made us dinner. I wouldn't know what to do without her! Every step of my crazy life she has been by my side and I wouldn't want it any other way.
Off to bed early due to the fact that my I keep cramping anytime I move. I know it's happening for a reason and have to keep healing now! It's all up to the good Lord above. Please keep prayers coming that are egg fertilize and we make it to retrieval!
XOXO
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
The Night Before Retrieval...Day 12
It's Tuesday and tomorrow morning we check in at 6:45am....that's early but it will be wonderful to be done!!
My mom called me tonight and said she will be there tomorrow! She's been through EVERYTHING with me and I couldn't imagine her not there!
Derek had softball tonight... So I took my extreme nesting urge and cleaned the house, dishes got done as well as laundry! All the things I know I won't want to do the rest of the week. After that it was relaxation! So with that, it's off to bed for an early rise! Prayers!
XOXO
My mom called me tonight and said she will be there tomorrow! She's been through EVERYTHING with me and I couldn't imagine her not there!
Derek had softball tonight... So I took my extreme nesting urge and cleaned the house, dishes got done as well as laundry! All the things I know I won't want to do the rest of the week. After that it was relaxation! So with that, it's off to bed for an early rise! Prayers!
XOXO
Down to the Wire...Day 11
Monday is upon us and it's the last day of meds for me! I'm so thankful! Our last sonogram showed 5 follicles with the lead at 24mm. That's a great sign and my estradiol was over 1700! They did their job and grew! Now it's time to go get em! Retrieval will be Wednesday at 8am sharp! Dr. Tjaden is a wonderful doctor and I know I'll be in good hands!
We take our "trigger" shot at 8pm tonight, therefor 36 hours later we will be in surgery!!!! The next few weeks will be long and tough but I have an amazing husband, family and friends to help me through it!
We take our "trigger" shot at 8pm tonight, therefor 36 hours later we will be in surgery!!!! The next few weeks will be long and tough but I have an amazing husband, family and friends to help me through it!
Mullerperdooper....Day 10
Well Sunday was quite interesting....I was so tired from Saturdays festivities and my hubby was tired from his tequilaing, but there were still things to do!
My appt went really well, my follicles are growing and my estradiol is over 1200! Woah....can I tell you I never dreamed we would get this close to retrieval! Dr. Tjaden is thinking trigger Monday for a Wednesday, which means only 2 more days if shots! Thank God!!! Though once retrieval comes, it's all out of our hands and into to The Lord above! I pray everyday for strength to get through these next 3 weeks.
I had a brudal shower for one of my JLW friends, it was beautiful and got to catch up with some others! Then went and saw The Luck One today, drug my hubby to it and met up with some close friends of ours! It was great to see them and the movie was good too! Super good chick flick! After that nothing much to talk about, Derek and I were exhausted!
Keep those prayers coming! XOXO
My appt went really well, my follicles are growing and my estradiol is over 1200! Woah....can I tell you I never dreamed we would get this close to retrieval! Dr. Tjaden is thinking trigger Monday for a Wednesday, which means only 2 more days if shots! Thank God!!! Though once retrieval comes, it's all out of our hands and into to The Lord above! I pray everyday for strength to get through these next 3 weeks.
I had a brudal shower for one of my JLW friends, it was beautiful and got to catch up with some others! Then went and saw The Luck One today, drug my hubby to it and met up with some close friends of ours! It was great to see them and the movie was good too! Super good chick flick! After that nothing much to talk about, Derek and I were exhausted!
Keep those prayers coming! XOXO
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Life Gets Busier....Day 9
Well, It's finally the weekend. I'm so glad that I got to have sometime to rest and watch TV and update this here blog. The morning was busy, but fun! We had over 50 people show up for the Old/New Party. My friend Laura and I always crack ourselves up, due to the fact that we are both very punctual people. That being said, not many people are anymore....but we always seem to show up at the same time, 15 minutes early.
After the craziness of the morning, I washed my car, enjoyed a wonderful Cherry Limeaide from Sonic and went home to my cozy bed and took a much needed nap. It was delightful. My hubby was at work for the day, poor guy, and I enjoyed the quiteness of the house.
Our neighbors are so fun and wonderful. Once waking up from my much needed sleepiness we were invited over for a cookout, thankgoodness for the Fitztastics and Zynderifics because I didn't have to cook nor bring anything. They are amazing! The Mullerperdoopers are THANKFUL for you. (please disregard the nicknames, it's a neighborhood thing :).
I missed being able to hang out with a good friend tonight, Meg, I'm sorry I missed your call. My sleepiness and hormones are taking over my body. I don't seem to be thinking like the normal Chelsea. I hope you enjoyed your night off, and we must have dinner ASAP at Olive Garden. It's been calling our names for quite sometime ya know.
As for the meds....same old same old. I was thankful that Derek was home so he could give them to me. I would have probably cried if I had to them myself. Stupid I know, but when you are on hormones and more tired than awake, shooting yourself with 3 different meds just doesn't sound exciting or fun. He was able to do them in my arm, so it wasn't nearly as bad as in my legs. I hopeful that tomorrow will bring good news that Retrieval is on the horizon. I'm ready to get these little eggs out of me and into a much better environment so they can grow. I can't wait....I seriously can't believe that this is really happening. My life will forever change with phone call of a + test. I hope that we get there.
Tomorrow brings a bridal shower, shopping with my girlfriends and hopefully a early nights sleeping. We have a BIG week ahead of us. Prayers....please keep them coming, thanks for reading, and I'll write more tomorrow.
I found this song on one of my friends blogs. hardermagic.blogspot.com and I had to share. It's beautiful in every way.
After the craziness of the morning, I washed my car, enjoyed a wonderful Cherry Limeaide from Sonic and went home to my cozy bed and took a much needed nap. It was delightful. My hubby was at work for the day, poor guy, and I enjoyed the quiteness of the house.
Our neighbors are so fun and wonderful. Once waking up from my much needed sleepiness we were invited over for a cookout, thankgoodness for the Fitztastics and Zynderifics because I didn't have to cook nor bring anything. They are amazing! The Mullerperdoopers are THANKFUL for you. (please disregard the nicknames, it's a neighborhood thing :).
I missed being able to hang out with a good friend tonight, Meg, I'm sorry I missed your call. My sleepiness and hormones are taking over my body. I don't seem to be thinking like the normal Chelsea. I hope you enjoyed your night off, and we must have dinner ASAP at Olive Garden. It's been calling our names for quite sometime ya know.
As for the meds....same old same old. I was thankful that Derek was home so he could give them to me. I would have probably cried if I had to them myself. Stupid I know, but when you are on hormones and more tired than awake, shooting yourself with 3 different meds just doesn't sound exciting or fun. He was able to do them in my arm, so it wasn't nearly as bad as in my legs. I hopeful that tomorrow will bring good news that Retrieval is on the horizon. I'm ready to get these little eggs out of me and into a much better environment so they can grow. I can't wait....I seriously can't believe that this is really happening. My life will forever change with phone call of a + test. I hope that we get there.
Tomorrow brings a bridal shower, shopping with my girlfriends and hopefully a early nights sleeping. We have a BIG week ahead of us. Prayers....please keep them coming, thanks for reading, and I'll write more tomorrow.
I found this song on one of my friends blogs. hardermagic.blogspot.com and I had to share. It's beautiful in every way.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Crazy Day of Work and Day 8....
Friday is FINALLY here. I couldn't be happier for the weekend. I do have quite a few things planned, but I'll still have some time to rest. This day here at CFRM was CRAZY. I think we had to have seen over 50 patients in 4 hours. I'm not kidding. IVF cycles are a beautiful mess at our clinic 4 times a year, but it makes time fly!
We both had sono's today. Mine showed that those 4 follicles are growing the way they should, we might have even seen a 5th. Still no Right Ovary, but who cares! Just like we talked before, we DO NOT need quantity, just quality!
My estradiol went up to 932, which pretty much means, I have a reason for feeling so crummy. Dr. Tjaden even asked me today if I wasn't feeling well. Like I've said in my last posts, I just don't feel like myself. My back has been hurting since Wednesday, my appetitie is practically non-exsisten, and my head sometimes feels like it could explode. BUT....I'm not complaining. If I wasn't having these symtpoms, I would be so much more nervous. There have already been a few patients that have been cancelled. I can't imagine the feeling.
One of my best friends and her kids came over tonight. I had planned on going out with some girls from Junior League, but my PJ's and bed had a much better appeal to them than dressing up and eating fancy food. No offense girls, my hormones are just talking! Rachel cooked the best french toast, scrambled eggs & sausage patties I had tasted. I think it's also the fact that I didn't have to cook either :). It was great to see the kids too. Cleo (4 months) is getting so big and Marcus( 2.5 years) is talking up a storm. He's very adament about telling someone that they are doing a good job and that he's a big boy and can swim. We had a wonderful time of lounging with the kids, girl talk and watching Diego.
Derek went to a Comedy Central special at WSU last night with the guys. He's been working so much, even has to work this weekend. I'm thankful to have a husband that loves his job and is a wonderful provider. He's the best thing that has EVER happened to me.
Tomorrow, is the Old/New Party with Junior League at Headquarters. We are expecting over 70 people to show up and show what the League is all about to the incoming New Member Class. I think it's going to be a lot of fun! www.jlwichita.org
Sunday is my next sono. Keep those prayers coming, because I think he's hearing them and answering them in the only way he knows how. Making me peaceful with this whole process.
We both had sono's today. Mine showed that those 4 follicles are growing the way they should, we might have even seen a 5th. Still no Right Ovary, but who cares! Just like we talked before, we DO NOT need quantity, just quality!
My estradiol went up to 932, which pretty much means, I have a reason for feeling so crummy. Dr. Tjaden even asked me today if I wasn't feeling well. Like I've said in my last posts, I just don't feel like myself. My back has been hurting since Wednesday, my appetitie is practically non-exsisten, and my head sometimes feels like it could explode. BUT....I'm not complaining. If I wasn't having these symtpoms, I would be so much more nervous. There have already been a few patients that have been cancelled. I can't imagine the feeling.
One of my best friends and her kids came over tonight. I had planned on going out with some girls from Junior League, but my PJ's and bed had a much better appeal to them than dressing up and eating fancy food. No offense girls, my hormones are just talking! Rachel cooked the best french toast, scrambled eggs & sausage patties I had tasted. I think it's also the fact that I didn't have to cook either :). It was great to see the kids too. Cleo (4 months) is getting so big and Marcus( 2.5 years) is talking up a storm. He's very adament about telling someone that they are doing a good job and that he's a big boy and can swim. We had a wonderful time of lounging with the kids, girl talk and watching Diego. Derek went to a Comedy Central special at WSU last night with the guys. He's been working so much, even has to work this weekend. I'm thankful to have a husband that loves his job and is a wonderful provider. He's the best thing that has EVER happened to me.
Tomorrow, is the Old/New Party with Junior League at Headquarters. We are expecting over 70 people to show up and show what the League is all about to the incoming New Member Class. I think it's going to be a lot of fun! www.jlwichita.org
Sunday is my next sono. Keep those prayers coming, because I think he's hearing them and answering them in the only way he knows how. Making me peaceful with this whole process.
Slow Mow....7
Wow! It's already been a week of meds! A whole week of stabbing myself! Haha! I finally broke down and gave them in my stomach today. It burns so bad in my legs, it's hard to continue! But it's par for the course of what I would go through.
The girls at work are starting to notice that I'm not quite myself. Cristal said that I look like I could snap any second! I don't really feel like that, just more like I'm slow mow. I'm definitely noticing more discomfort, especially in my lower back. Man is there pressure!
I start Cetrotide tonight. This medicine blocks ovulation, so my ovaries can continue stimulating without my body doing something it shouldn't. This is exciting because I'm actually getting farther than I expected! I never thought once starting this process we would get to potential retrieval and here we are 7 days in, my body's responding! God is great, he's hearing prayers!
Tomorrow will be interesting! Roberta and I both have sonos! They will make sure her lining is doing what it should and mine will check things out again! As for now, keep praying please! Anything helps!
The girls at work are starting to notice that I'm not quite myself. Cristal said that I look like I could snap any second! I don't really feel like that, just more like I'm slow mow. I'm definitely noticing more discomfort, especially in my lower back. Man is there pressure!
I start Cetrotide tonight. This medicine blocks ovulation, so my ovaries can continue stimulating without my body doing something it shouldn't. This is exciting because I'm actually getting farther than I expected! I never thought once starting this process we would get to potential retrieval and here we are 7 days in, my body's responding! God is great, he's hearing prayers!
Tomorrow will be interesting! Roberta and I both have sonos! They will make sure her lining is doing what it should and mine will check things out again! As for now, keep praying please! Anything helps!
Things They Are A Changing....6
It's Wednesday, half way through the work week, Thank goodness!
Had my first sono today. I was really nervous. When you aren't sure how you're body is going to respond, it's very scary! This whole process depends upon these two little things floating in my pelvis. Who knows how many times they've been moved, poked, accidentially touched during my many abdominal surgeries.
Nervous that they wouldn't find either, Dr. Tjaden was able to find my Left Ovary. My right one, who knows, it's MIA. I'm sure that it will do something, but that doesn't mean we can actually get to it. He's hopeful that once it stimulates more, it will show face. We will see. I have a very stubborn body, which means my organs are much more stubborn.
My estradiol was 392, which was an impressive jump from 60 on Sunday. That's a good sign! Thank the Lord. Just means those 4-5 follicles he saw today are producing that much hated hormome of a women. I feel as if I'm on HYPERACTIVE PMS. Oh well. If this is all that I have to deal with, Roberta gets pregnant and we are blessed with a biological child, I will take what God feels I can handle and run with it. I'd run a marathon with it, if it means this process works.
Funny side note. I was calculating out when Roberta would test after transfer. Low and behold it's the one day that a Mother is recognized. You go it. Mother's Day. Either way, it will a day, month, year I will never forget!
Had my first sono today. I was really nervous. When you aren't sure how you're body is going to respond, it's very scary! This whole process depends upon these two little things floating in my pelvis. Who knows how many times they've been moved, poked, accidentially touched during my many abdominal surgeries.
Nervous that they wouldn't find either, Dr. Tjaden was able to find my Left Ovary. My right one, who knows, it's MIA. I'm sure that it will do something, but that doesn't mean we can actually get to it. He's hopeful that once it stimulates more, it will show face. We will see. I have a very stubborn body, which means my organs are much more stubborn.
My estradiol was 392, which was an impressive jump from 60 on Sunday. That's a good sign! Thank the Lord. Just means those 4-5 follicles he saw today are producing that much hated hormome of a women. I feel as if I'm on HYPERACTIVE PMS. Oh well. If this is all that I have to deal with, Roberta gets pregnant and we are blessed with a biological child, I will take what God feels I can handle and run with it. I'd run a marathon with it, if it means this process works.
Funny side note. I was calculating out when Roberta would test after transfer. Low and behold it's the one day that a Mother is recognized. You go it. Mother's Day. Either way, it will a day, month, year I will never forget!
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Day 5....
Its Tuesday....I'm really starting to notice the effects of theses drugs. I'm so tired I could fall asleep at any moment. I'm only 6 days into it, REALLY? I've now done 3 days in a row and it's getting easier. I've figured out to make it not hurt any more. Thank Goodness! I have my first sonogram tomorrow. Hopefully they can find my Right Ovary...please God let them find it.
Derek plays softball tonight, so the house is all mine. Hopefully he doesn't hurt himself like he has the last 2 Tuesdays. First he had a pop up ball get him in the collar bone, that was quite a bruise, and then he pulled his groin last week. Poor guy, getting old sucks :).
He's been amazing throughout this process so far and I have to say I couldn't imagine doing it with anyone else. Last night he rolled over before bed and said "Thank you for going through this, I'm so sorry you have to do all of this and I can't wait to start a family"-Let me tell you, the tears about fell. I love him with all my heart.
Updates will come tomorrow about the sono and my lab result. I'm nervous, excited & scared.
Derek plays softball tonight, so the house is all mine. Hopefully he doesn't hurt himself like he has the last 2 Tuesdays. First he had a pop up ball get him in the collar bone, that was quite a bruise, and then he pulled his groin last week. Poor guy, getting old sucks :).
Updates will come tomorrow about the sono and my lab result. I'm nervous, excited & scared.
Day 4
Not much to write about today, its just a Monday. I was going to try and go work out today, but I can tell you that it didn't happen. I'm starting to not feel so good, even though I know its early. Meds are going fine, I've now done 3 days of injecting myself. Yes again I know i'm a nurse, but it's a little different doing it to yourself.
It's a blah kind of week, really busy at work. But at least I don't have to work this coming weekend.
This is who I am. This is who I'll be. This is my LIFE!
It's a blah kind of week, really busy at work. But at least I don't have to work this coming weekend.
I feel that we are in the middle of something I've always wanted to do.
I thank God everyday that it's a possiblity.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Working.....Day 3
Amazing that yesterday there were over 121 tornadoes in 4 different states and today it's sunny skies and crazy winds. We didn't have any power for 3-4 hours last night. That was fun, but it certainly came back on at 2am with a louder than normal radio. Derek wasn't too happy and we were both super tired. I had to work this morning, only 3 patients. Easy enough.
My estradiol was 60, just meaning that my ovaries are doing there job. Had my first headache today, not sure if that was related to this or the crazy weather. I'm hoping that after 3 more days of medicines, my ovaries look like.
We Shall See!
My estradiol was 60, just meaning that my ovaries are doing there job. Had my first headache today, not sure if that was related to this or the crazy weather. I'm hoping that after 3 more days of medicines, my ovaries look like.
We Shall See!
Not much else going on today
Tried a new recipe from Pinterest
Chicken Salad with Pecans and Dried Cranberries
You can find the recipe
Trying another one tonight, If it's good, I'll forward it on!
Day 2......Tornadoes & Music
Today was supposed to be one of the most dangerous days I've ever seen. Tornadoes were forecasted all over Kansas, Missouri & Nebraska & amazingly the meterologists were right! The TV was all about the weather throughout the day, though my girlfriends and I had concert tickets to the Miranda Lambert concert. We weren't going to let the weather get in our way. We made it to the concert no problems, not even a speck of rain. The concert was amazing, we had great seats and were in great company.
This is one of the songs that Jerrod Neiman wrote about Kansas. He's from Liberal. I loved it!
Jerrod Neiman was amazing and quite good looking, Chris Young can sing his heart out, Miranda is one amazing perfomer, until they had to stop the concert.She was quite funny, she said she would pray for us. Low and behold mother nature had a better idea, supposedly the tornadoe was headed straight for Intrust Bank Arena. They stopped the concert, told us it was "just a severe thunderstorm" and they would be starting the concert up once the weather wasn't severe. After that though we were all spent.
This was one of the Tornadoes. I can't believe how eery and mean this looks. My prayers are with all of the people with damage to their homes.
As for the fertility treatment. Same old same old. The Menopur still burns and I gave them to myself today for the first time. It was scary, sutpid I know, but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it. I'm curious to what my Estradiol will be tomorrow. It's becoming more real and hope my body is cooperating.
This is one of the songs that Jerrod Neiman wrote about Kansas. He's from Liberal. I loved it!
Jerrod Neiman was amazing and quite good looking, Chris Young can sing his heart out, Miranda is one amazing perfomer, until they had to stop the concert.She was quite funny, she said she would pray for us. Low and behold mother nature had a better idea, supposedly the tornadoe was headed straight for Intrust Bank Arena. They stopped the concert, told us it was "just a severe thunderstorm" and they would be starting the concert up once the weather wasn't severe. After that though we were all spent.
As for the fertility treatment. Same old same old. The Menopur still burns and I gave them to myself today for the first time. It was scary, sutpid I know, but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it. I'm curious to what my Estradiol will be tomorrow. It's becoming more real and hope my body is cooperating.
Friday, April 13, 2012
The First Shot...1
I opened the box and gasped a little. I know I work around all of these drugs each day...but these are the medicines that are going to make these ovaries do there job.Hopefully they wil get us through the next few weeks...and hopefully to retrieval. My sono today went great, they still can't find my right ovary, who knows where it went! I'm sure it will show its face soon!
Two of my best girlfriends are coming over tonight...they are so supportive! Just an evening in to watch movies and eat lots of food!! I couldn't ask for a better Friday night! My first dose of medicine tonight is both Gonal-F and Menopur, I'm sure the people have gone through this process know what I'm talking about....for those non medical/fertility patients, they are hormones. I'm sure I won't be nearly as excited 10 days from now, but as for today...I'm gonna enjoy my time with my girlfriends, my hubby and dog!
Two of my best girlfriends are coming over tonight...they are so supportive! Just an evening in to watch movies and eat lots of food!! I couldn't ask for a better Friday night! My first dose of medicine tonight is both Gonal-F and Menopur, I'm sure the people have gone through this process know what I'm talking about....for those non medical/fertility patients, they are hormones. I'm sure I won't be nearly as excited 10 days from now, but as for today...I'm gonna enjoy my time with my girlfriends, my hubby and dog!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
The Beginning
I'm sitting here thinking that this process time in my life is happening...tomorrow. I have my sonogram and then start my meds....I can't believe it's here. I've been waiting for this day to come for my whole life, the possiblity of becoming a mom could potentially happen and I can't believe it!
My husband is SO excited and I'm so thankful that he's a supporting in this whole process. My life wouldn't be complete without him.
I hope that since this is my first blog post ever, it becomes easier. My goal is to write daily throughout our journey, hopefully this means 9 months or so.
My husband is SO excited and I'm so thankful that he's a supporting in this whole process. My life wouldn't be complete without him.
I hope that since this is my first blog post ever, it becomes easier. My goal is to write daily throughout our journey, hopefully this means 9 months or so.
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